Pregnant In The Quell
by blossomingdog
Summary: Peeta wasn't lying about the baby in the Quarter Quell. Now, follow Katniss' pov as she tries to save Peeta's life, even if it means sacrificing their child. But what will happen? Will she follow through with the plan? Read to find out!
1. Chapter 1

Peeta rubs soothing circles on my back as I lean over the toilet, emptying my stomach.

"Ssshhhh…." He says calmly, running his fingers through my hair as he loosely holds it back.

When I finally stop I stand up and wipe my face, rinsing out my mouth. I raise my eyes to look in the mirror where I realized Peeta had be watching me, his blue eyes looking at me seriously.

"Katniss, this has been going on for almost two weeks now… Im starting to think this Is way more serious that just you being sick."

I sigh, turning around to face him. "Peeta, I'm fine. I'm just sick." I say quietly.

I remember when we had to go on field trips into the mines back in school. I would always make myself nervous the night before, nervous enough to make myself sick. I would wake up the next morning to see my mother with a note saying that I would be skipping school already. This was what was happening now with the Games, but it was memories that made me sick, not the dread of the future.

He sighs quietly and pulls me into a hug, resting his chin on my head. My arms instinctively wrap around him.

"Alright," He says gently, "Lets go back downstairs."  
There was a mandatory viewing tonight. As I walked downstairs with his arms around my waist, I wondered what could be such a big occasion.

My mother and Prim sat quietly in the living room as we entered. I avoided my mother's suspicious glare as we sat down quietly on the soft couch. Just in time, the television flicks on. The screen showed the city square as Coriolanus Snow walks into view.

My stomach churns quietly as I watch the man I hate position himself in front of a large podium.

Peeta's hand finds mine and squeezes is comfortingly.

I am instantly brought back to reaping day. Effie Trinket's shrill voice rings through my ears: "Well, shake hands you two!"

My breath hitches as I try to contain myself from running away and hiding myself.

President Snow takes a deep breath as he reaches out for a smooth, wooden box with the seal of Panem carved into it in front of him.

"It's the Quarter Quell box. They're announcing what the challenge is going to be this year." Prim says quietly.

It all sinks in. "Oh." I say, just as quietly. Dread quickly started to make its way throughout me.

President Snow takes a deep breath and opens the box carefully.

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is the 75th year of The Hunger Games," He starts, his voice cold like ice, "As it was written in the charter of the Hunger Games that every 25 years we would host a Quarter Quell. To keep fresh for each new generation, the memories of each who died in the uprising against the Capitol, A Quarter Quell is distinguished by a certain significance. And now, on this, the 75th annual Hunger Games, we celebrate the 3rd annual Quarter Quell."  
Cheers erupt through the crowd around him. I realize my hands are shaking. I tear them away from Peeta's quickly.

"And now, to show that even the strongest can overcome the Capitol, a male and female tribute will be reaped from the existing pool of victors."

I stop listening as realization creeps over me. My ears begin to ring. My mother wails. Peeta's breathing hitches. I hear Prim ask what he means.

I stand up and make my way to the door in a dream-like state. Only when I hear someone call my name do I run for the door, sprinting away. Away from this mess. Away from all of this.

I suddenly find myself in the woods, in Gale's and I's safe haven.

But I realized that I am no longer safe.

Because I am going back into the games.

* * *

 **I hope you enjoyed! My writing is a bit rusty, but oh well. Im still trying to improve. Im super excited to write this, so until next time! 3**

 **-Blossomingdog**


	2. Chapter 2

I don't know how long I sit there, curled up next to an old tree, but I suddenly become aware of the sun slowly setting through the tree line.

I stand up, shaking, and walk around to try and bring back circulation to my numb limbs.

My mind had become foggy, but one thought has been stuck in my brain, permanently tacked there.

I slowly make my way back to the Victors Village. Instead of heading back to my house – which I can only dread going to – I walked to the dead house of Haymitch Abernanthy.

I don't even bother to knock. I just open the door, almost vomiting again at the aroma that meets my nose. I push through the liquor and decaying fumes until I find him, sitting at his table, drunk as a skunk, knife in hand, bottle in the other.

In his drunk haze, he gives me a glance of what seems to be a smirk or a frown, showing off his yellows.

"Let me guess, you're here to tell me that we need to save the boy?" He asks in his drunk stupor, "What if I told you that he was here 45 minutes ago begging for me to save the girl?"

It doesn't take me completely back. I frown, pushing my way through piles of I-don't-know-what until I can sit across from him.

"I'm here for a drink." I say quietly, reaching out for the bottle that seemed to be glued to his hand.

He grunts, "Taking after your mentor, Sweetheart? Not the best idea, but hey, it works." He takes one last swig and slides the amber bottle over to me across wood.

I lift up the bottle and take too big of a swig. It feels like fire down my throat, making its way throughout me, burning everything in its path.

I wonder what it reminds me of.

My stomach churns, warning me of a reappearance of whatever food I have left in me.

He eyes me warily, those grey Seam eyes looking straight at me.

"We need to save him. It's not a question. I have to die this time." I say it, loud and clear enough to get through that cloudy head of his.

He sighs, reaching for his bottle. I wrap my arms around it protectively. I wouldn't let him have that satisfaction. I wasn't sure he would be able to sober up enough to let one of us survive this time again.

"No, Haymitch, you need to listen. You chose me last time. He almost died. And look how good that ended up. You need to let him live."

He sighs, running his hand through his remaining hair, as if thinking over something. I wait quietly for an answer. I can't even feel pity for the drunk old man.

"If Trinket chooses his name in the reaping bowl… I'll-I'll volunteer for him."

It feels as if a thousand pounds have been lifted off my chest. I sigh with relief. Even if it was a slim chance, it was there: the chance that Peeta and I could survive.

"Oh, Haymitch, thank you." I say, my voice sounding much lighter.

It seems like an understatement.

He sighs, "Yeah… You should get back. I don't know how well your family could be putting up right now." He says gruffly. When did drunk, old Haymitch become so caring? I quickly realize that it wasn't fully an act made out of care. He, the drunk, just wanted to be left alone to drink.

I nod, pushing back the chair to stand up. It squeaks on the hardware floor. I hold the bottle in my hands as I leave. I swear I hear him sigh as I close the door behind me.

The second I open the door to my house I am instantly enveloped in the strong arms of Gale. I bury my face in his chest, my body wracking with sobs as I feel the bottle crush in my hands, the shards of glass falling onto the ground. I barely feel the pain it causes when shards break through my skin.

"I'm so sorry, Catnip." He whispers in my ear. He voice is gentler… sweeter.

The alcohol suddenly over takes me, and I become limp in his arms. There's a rushing motion as I feel my body being lifted off the ground. I can feel his footsteps under me as he brings me up to my bedroom and gently places me under the covers. My whole vision is blurred.

I feel alone. Cold. Broken.

"I'm so sorry…" he says again, but I am barely able to make it out as sleep pulls me under.

* * *

My eyes flutter open to the light stream of sunlight coming in through the window. It illuminated a figure who was sitting on the edge of the bed, facing me.

But I don't have time to make out who it is before I'm rushing to the bathroom.

The alcohol makes its way back up again, burning just as bad coming up just as it did going down.

I wonder how Haymitch could do this every day.

I feel a soft hand on my back, and strings of calming words float through the air, working their way into my brain.

I don't need to look behind me to know that it's Peeta.

He does the same thing he knows will comfort me: rubbing soothing circles on my back as he continues to use words to calm me down.

He does this until my stomach empties, leaving a burning crater inside me. I reach over for a cloth, wiping my mouth as I flush the vile down. I try to avoid Peeta's eyes, but I can feel them burning down onto me.

I take a deep, shaky breath as I give a weak laugh, "Now I know why Haymitch is grumpy all the ti-"

I turn to him, my grey eyes meeting his sparkling blue ones, only to see the sparkle was out, replaced with a hard, cold, glare. "No, Katniss. I already told your mother. This is not just sickness, or a hangover."

A shiver runs down my back. I can feel my face grow pale, "Peeta, please-"

"No," He tells me seriously, his tone hard, "We can't have you like this going into the arena like this."

I raise my hand, signaling him to stop. "Okay, Peeta. Okay." I say quietly.

He sighs, frowning as he runs his calloused fingers through my dark hard. The feeling is natural, comforting.

As I try to stand up a thundering pulse begins in my head. A low groan escapes my lips as my hands rush to my temples. My ears begin to ring as I can make out a quiet sigh from Peeta.

He reaches over – to pick me up, I think – and I instantly shift away.

"I'm fine, Peeta. I've had headaches before." I snap.

I did not want to be seen by Peeta right now like Gale had saw me the night before in my drunken haze – Scared, defenseless, and weak.

I stand up without even glancing at him again, trying to focus on anything but how crappy I felt.

I walk back to the bed, sitting down on the soft matress as I watch him enter the room behind me, closing the door softly behind him.

He takes a seat back on the edge of the bed, the sunlight once again illuminating him. It's like a dream, mystifying me. I take the time to notice the small details about him I never had before. The curve of his long, golden eyelashes, the ridge of his nose, the rosy color of his lips. It brings me a certain peace, but I know that I can't feel that way at the moment.

"Peeta, about the Quell…" I start quietly. I dreaded talking about it, but I had to. Seeing as I could count how much months we have left on my fingers, it couldn't be ignored.

"Katniss," He says, running his fingers through my hair again. He seemed to know the calming effect it had on me. "I know we have to talk about it, I want to enjoy right now…. Right now. We can train, we can talk about it, but let's have these last moments of peace before we have to really do that stuff."

With that, he leans in and presses his lips against mine. Warmth spreads through me, not only at his words, but at the certain hunger I felt like I had in the cave during the games. I lean in to kiss him more, to feed the hungry creature inside me, but is cut off by my Mother entering the room.

Peeta pulls back quickly, his eyes once again filled with that certain sparkle that I admire.

As she quietly enters the room Peeta repositions himself on a chair next to the bed, watching him quietly.

I jump up and walk to her, giving her a tight hug. I suddenly felt ashamed about instead of going to my family for comfort last night, I went to alcohol. Just like my drunk, old, broken mentor.

She hesitates before returning the hug, wrapping her bony arms around me.

"Im okay… We're okay…" I whisper softly in her ear. She nods and we silently break apart. Cold surrounds my body where her arms once were.

"So, Katniss, what's going on?" She asks seriously, cueing the end of our sentimental moment.

I pause, shifting uncomfortably. I look at Peeta for a sigh of reassurance. He nods encouragingly.

"Vomiting." I sigh, refusing to elaborate.

She looks suspicious, well knowing that her daughter has been good at keeping things from her.

"For two weeks, almost every morning." Peeta tacks on. I glare at him from across the room. He just shrugs.

My mother's glare hardens, her brow furrowing. Her blue eyes stare directly at me, "Katniss, have you been getting your period lately?"

I can feel my face grow hot, and I can see Peeta is beet-red and shifting uncomfortably in his chair. My mother seems unfased buy all of this, though.

"Well-um-no-but its –um- probably just –uh- late." I mumble. I could feel the blush burn its way onto my face, and I try to avoid looking at Peeta.

"Katniss," She says, her voice so serious it takes me back, "Do you understand what I'm getting at?"  
I shake my head slowly, the blush creeping it's was off my face.

"Katniss, I think you're pregnant."

* * *

 **Woop woop now we're getting to the pregnancy part :o. Hope you enjoyed 3**

 **-Blossomingdog**


	3. Chapter 3

I feel my face go pale as her words sink in. My once red-hot skin felt cold.

No. She was wrong. I was not pregnant. I couldn't be. It's just a coincidence. My period will come in a couple days. It's just a coincidence.

And to be pregnant you would have to…

It happened once. We were on the train, the night we were leaving district 11. My brain was drowned in the broken images of Rue and Thresh's families, accompanied by the man who had just got shot because of his act of rebellion.  
And I was the reason why he did it.

I had woken up, sweaty and panting, screaming after a particularly bad nightmare. I shot up, my brain whirring with aftermath of the dream. I was shaking when Peeta barged through the door, worry written on his face.

"Are you okay?" He asked, his voice frantic. His blue eyes study me, trying to see what was wrong.

"Just a nightmare." I say, my voice shaky as I tried to reassure him. I wipe a strand of sweaty, dark-colored hair out of my face.

He nods, "Alright. Try to go back to sleep."  
I nod back quietly, lying back down. The mattress instantly absorbs my body.

He turns around to leave. But just before he walks through the doorway, I stop him.

"Peeta?" I ask, my voice sounding just like it did when I was a child, "Will you stay with me?"

His blue eyes sparkle from across the room, and my heart swelled. "Of course." He mutters, his voice full of love. He walks back over, climbing under the sheets next to me.

"Always."

I am brought back to reality, my mother staring at me with her piercing eyes.

I can't bring myself to look at Peeta. Because the possibility of me being pregnant becomes more and more real.

"I'll be right back." My mother says quietly, and I can hear the coolness in her voice. But there's something else.

Disappointment.

She leaves the room, leaving me and Peeta alone. I shift my body on the bed so he couldn't see my face anymore.

"Katniss-"He begins, but I quickly cut him off.

"Peeta, please." I say, my voice shaking as tears threat to break loose. I felt completely ashamed. Even if I wasn't pregnant, my mother always warned me never to go do that with someone. She first told me when I started hanging out in the woods with Gale.

Gale.

Guilt twists in my heart. I had promised myself that no matter what, my heart belonged to him.

But I lied. To myself and him.

My mother quietly reappears in the room, holding what seems to be a stick in her hand. I recognize it as a pregnancy test; the ones she gave to her patients to use.

He walks over and hands it over quietly to me. "Katniss, I need you to go and use this in the bathroom." She says, her voice cold like ice.

I take the device quietly in my hand and stand up, still avoiding Peeta's stare even though I can feel it burning through my back, right into my heart.

I walk slowly to the bathroom, my knees shaking with every step. I lock the door behind me and read the instructions over, examining the contraption.

As I follow what it tells me, my mind whirs with the thought of the reality if I really was.

Because if I was going to have a baby, it would be coming in the games with me.

I lurch forward, the thought almost making my vomit.

After I finish, the final step is to wait.

I place it on the sink counter as I clutch the edges of it with my hands, my knuckles turning white. I hear soft murmuring from my bedroom, but my thoughts flush it out. Every worst scenario that could happen racks my brain.

The baby starving. The baby getting reaped. Me not being there for the baby. Losing the baby. Forced to give up the baby. The baby hating its parents.

The baby and I not getting out of the games because I already made the deal with Haymitch to get Peeta out of the games alive.

I finally throw up into the sink.

Because if I was pregnant, I wasn't able to guarantee the safety of this baby already.

I look up at the small clock on the wall to see about 10 minutes has gone by. I feel my stomach sink as I realize that the test probably would have gotten through already.

I rack up enough courage to reach out a shaky hand, grabbing the test from the sink.

I close my eyes and hold it up to my face. I say a silent prayer in my head before I open my eyes.

Two lines.

Positive.

I am pregnant.

I drop to the ground on my knees, shaking as my body racks with sobs. I bury my face in my hands, hot, wet, tears dripping down my cheeks.

There's frantic pounding on the door and the rough voice of Peeta and the cold voice of my mother are heard.

"Katniss, open up!" I hear Peeta command, his voice on the edge of hysteria.

But I don't. I sit on the cold tiles of the bathroom, my body convulsing with sobs as I stare through my fingers at my stomach where my baby forms.


	4. Chapter 4

The door burst open with a loud ' _BANG'._ Footsteps shuffle around frantically and before I know it Peeta is kneeled down beside me, his arms wrapped tightly around me.

My whole body shakes as I gasp for breath, my eyes overflowing with big, fat tears. He leans his forehead against my temple. I can feel his eyes focusing on me, trying to figure out what was going on in this broken brain.

My mother leans down and grabs the test off the floor, flicking her eyes over it. Her face features change for a second – Sadness, disappointment, and anger replace her usually stern face.

She hands it quietly to Peeta, who takes his hand off me for a second to hold it tightly, staring at the two lines. I can feel him pause next to me, taking in the news.

He wraps his arms back around me, pressing his lips to my ear.

"Shhh… Katniss… It's alright…." He says gently, but I can hear his voice shaking. This only makes me furious.

"But it's not alright! When I die in that arena I'm going to kill this baby! Like it or not, I'm going to murder someone in the games they don't even know they're in!" I scream, anger bubbling up inside me rapidly as I push him away.

My mother's jaw drops open, and Peeta's face is filled with pure horror.

"I can't save it…. I can't save my child…" My voice drifts off as tears start to leak through my eyes again.

I break down into sobs, my body lying on the bathroom floor weakly.

I feel strong arms lift me up again, but this time it isn't Gale's. Peeta quietly carries me to the bedroom. I'm too weak to move, to numb to care.

The last thing I see is a tear rolling down Peeta's cheek before a sharp jab meets my shoulder and I drift off from reality.

* * *

When I awake I find two large figures staring down at me.

I open my eyelids just enough to peer up at them, when one of them speaks.

"Haymitch, don't you forget it. I'm counting on my life for it." Peeta says.

Haymitch nods, "I'll see what I can do." He says gruffly before quietly leaving.

Confusion and curiosity wracks my brain, leaving me to only wonder what they were talking about.

Peeta turns his attention back to me, walking quietly over to the bed. I open eyes to signal I'm awake.

He hesitates before sitting down on the edge of the matress,

"How are you feeling?" He asks quietly, running his fingers through my hair gently.

"How do you think?" I shoot back, even though my voice is too weak to represent anger.

"Katniss," He says seriously, leaning his face so close to mine I could smell the cinnamon on his skin, "I need to ask you a very important question, okay?"  
I nod, trying to anticipate what he was going to ask.

"I need to know who the father is."  
My heart twists with guilt. I had never done anything with Gale. I felt a pang to my heart as I thought of him, and another pang of hurt when I realized Peeta thought that I used his body and then left for Gale. _Well_ , I thought grimly in my head, _part of that it true_.

My hand finds his and I rub my fingers along the length of his calloused ones, trying to comfort him for the impact of the next words that were going to come out of my mouth.

"Peeta, you are." I say, my voice almost too quiet for him to catch it.

A tear slips down his cheek, his blue eyes glassy and filled with guilt. He buries his face in my shoulder, trying to hold it together.

"Katniss, I'm so sorry." He keeps repeating. My hand doesn't leave his.

I just hold him close.

* * *

"It's just a-um-check-up." My mother says awkwardly as she enters the room.

Peeta nods to her quietly, hesitating as he stands up off the bed and takes place back on the chair he was only a few hours ago

She moves quietly to the bed and takes Peeta's place. She lifts her bony hands as they hover awkwardly over my stomach.

"May I?" She asks quietly. I nod.

She takes a deep breath and hooks her fingers on the hem of my shirt and lifts it up slowly, letting it rest on my chest.

Peeta's breath hitches as he watched where his child was.

There was no bump. There wouldn't be for a while. But now, I realized, my ribs were less prominent. My stomach convulse at the thought of my child taking on after her mother: barely any meat on her bones and living in a world where they have to fight for the scraps.

But I remembered that wasn't going to happen.

My mother hesitates before resting her hands on my stomach, right over my abdomen. Her fingers are so cold it sends shivers up my spine.

I wince as she pokes and prods, asking me a few questions.

After a few moments she turns to me says, "You're about two months into your pregnancy. Your baby should be due sometime around November."

Whatever emotions she's feeling, she's hiding them good.

Anger rises up in me again. How could she just sit there and act like everything was fine? That she wasn't examining her daughter's baby who was going to be dead in a month?

"Katniss?" Peeta's gentle voice rips through my thoughts, "Katniss, are you alright?"

I look down to realize my fists were clenched, my knuckles white and my face felt red-hot.

I shake my head, staring up at my mother.

"Katniss?" She asks, her voice quiet.

I let go, shouting obscenities at her. Telling her about how bad of a mother she is, and even now of a grandmother. I scream to her about how she blanks out to leave her problems instead of realising how selfish she was being for not realizing that she wasn't the only one who was feeling pain.

Before she gets up to leave a tear drops rolls off her cheek and onto my shirt.

* * *

 **Okay, so, not my best chapter, I know, but I hope you enjoy nonetheless. This chapter was to fill in a couple blanks, answer a few questions and such. Ill be uploading a lot more because of this long weekend so yay! 3**

 **-Blossomingdog**


	5. Chapter 5

The next week goes by slowly.

I spend it all in my bed, except for bathroom breaks and such.

My mother brings me food I barely eat.

Prim comes to tend to morning sickness.

Peeta comes and sits down next to me. He asks three questions: If I want to talk, If I want to train, and if im okay.

When I don't answer we sit in silence.

Other days I watch him and Haymitch train outside my window. Haymitch, for a man who holds a knife in his sleep, can't throw well at all. His knife hits the ground before it can even get halfway to the target.

My nightmares become more vivid.

The one that sticks with me the most is when im in a forest, chasing after a young child. Golden curls – just like Peeta's – fly behind her head as she runs ahead of me, winding between the trees.

"Wait!" I yell, but she doesn't stop.

She wears a white dress, the light fabric rippling in the wind. I try to catch up to her, but she always seems to be a few yards ahead of me.

"Please stop!" I yell, my voice hoarse as my feet begin to ache from running for so long.

And she does.

When an arrow rips through her. She lands on the ground with a sickening thud.

Blood quickly seeps onto the dress, blotting it in deep crimson.

I let out a strangled cry as I turn behind me to where the arrow came from, only to see that I was holding the bow.

My heart skips a beat and I instantly drop it and run frantically over to the girl.

But I can already tell she's a goner. And just like Rue, just like everyone else, I can't save her.

"Oh my God," I choke, tears pooling in my eyes, "I'm so sorry… I'm so sorry…" I repeat over and over until the words sound blurry.

Her hand moves slowly on the ground, searching for me. She turns her trembling head on the ground so she's looking at me, and I gasp when I see she has my Seam eyes.

"How could you do that, Mom?" She asks, her voice barely audible. But I can hear it clear as day.

A single, clear tear rolls down her cheek and she closes her eyes.

She bursts into flames as I realized I have just killed my child.

I wake up, screaming hysterically. My hair clings to my forehead with sweat. I bury my head in my knees, my hands finding my ears as I try to block out the sound of my daughters lifeless body hitting the ground replaying in my head.

Through my ears I make out the sound of footsteps. No. They wouldn't be able to help me right now.

I jump out of bed and quickly pull on my Father's hunting jacket, grabbing my game bag as I sprint out the door, past my mother and sister.

Their pleas don't stop me as I keep sprinting, right through the door and through the meadow until I'm at the fence.

I quickly slip through the gap in the fence as I submerge myself into the depths of the forest.

I walk silently as tears still quietly stream down my face.

A squirrel scampers by. A rabbit hops around.

But I don't shoot them. God knows that I've done enough killing.

My feet automatically carry me to Gale and I's meeting spot.

I don't even realize he's there until his voice steers into my head.

"Catnip? What happened?" He said, his voice and face written with concern. He hesitantly starts to approach me, but I'm already running away. I couldn't speak to him right now. I wasn't ready.

"Katniss! Stop!" He yells after me, dropping my old nickname. He always did this when things got serious.

My feet carry me away, but suddenly his hands are locked tight on my shoulders. He spins me around, his eyes frantically searching mine.

"Katniss, what happened?" He asked slowly, studying me for any signs of hurt.

I just shake my head, another tear slipping down my cheek.

"Oh, Catnip." He sighs, pulling me in a hug, his arms wrapping around me as he leans his chin on my shoulder.

We stand there for a while, just us. I felt safe. But it also felt wrong, because the only thing between us was another man's baby.

"Gale…" I begin softly, gathering up what little courage I had. He gives me a light squeeze, signaling me to continue. I can barely choke out the words.

"Gale, im pregnant."  
No words of comfort. No bashing at me for cheating him out. He just does nothing: and that hurts the most.

I pull myself away from him. Before I leave I get one last look at him. His glassy eyes stare down at the ground.

And that's all I need to walk away from him.

 **I hope you guys enjoyed, even if this is a really short chapter :^). And for the relationships concerting Katniss / Gale and Katniss / Peeta, i'm having it so its like when she loved Gale in the beginning of catching fire, but she also has some feelings for Peeta because she's carrying his baby and their whole past and stuff coming together? Yeah. Have a wonderful day 3**

 **-Blossomingdog**


	6. Chapter 6

"How many people have you told?" I ask Peeta quietly.

He had finally coaxed me outside, which I reluctantly agreed to. The sun spread its warmth against my skin, reminding me of the numbered days I had left to feel it.

I was sitting on the swing on top of his porch, my legs tucked in by my side. My hair was free of its braid, letting the dark ringlets free. I was still hung over by Gale's reaction from when I told him when I was pregnant. Even though I hate to admit it, I didn't expect him to react that way. He had every right to be angry, though. He had every right to feel what he was feeling, even if it would still come back to hurt my heart.

I flick my eyes back up to look at Peeta, who was sitting across from me. His brow was furrowed with concern at my sudden flashback, but he pushed on.

"Besides Haymitch, no one. I only thought it was only right to do it if you were there, and I knew you weren't going to be up to that yet…" He replies, his voice getting quiet at the end.

I already knew Haymitch had known since the time I saw him and Peeta talking next to me. At first I was furious at him when he finally admitted it to me. Sure, it had to be done, but it gave Haymitch a reason to get me out of the arena again instead of Peeta. A big one, too, I hated to admit.

I couldn't look at Peeta straight for a week after that. But as time passed so did the anger.

I gave him the faintest of smiles, reassuring him that I appreciated it.

He gave me a guilty look anyways. It had seemed been etched in his face ever since he saw the two red lines that confirmed the existence of his child.

We sat in silence, watching the sun slowly set across the tree line. The sky represented colors of purple, pink, and the shade of orange that made Peeta feel at ease.

I hear a small rustling sound as I heard Peeta stand up, followed closely by the feel of being lifted on the chair as he sits down behind me.

I lean back instinctively, burying my head in his chest. His arms wrap around my neck, gently resting his hands on my stomach. I flinch. I had recently gotten more protective of myself (And, our child), and once had found my arms securely wrapped around my still flat stomach.

"S-sorry, Katniss." He says quickly, and I can hear the frightened tone in his voice. He quickly starts to pull his arms away, but I stop him by gently placing my hands on his. He tenses, but I calmly bring them down back to my stomach, letting it rest there.

I can feel him relax slowly, sinking back into the chair. He buries his face in my shoulder, his face bathed in the raven waves.

"Katniss," He whispers, "I'm so sorry. I wish there was a way to take the pain away from you, because I would do it in a heartbeat. I'm so sorry."

* * *

I sat on our rock quietly, watching a rabbit scamper by.

I don't know how long he's been there, but he is by the time I turn around.

He was leaning on a rock with his arms wrapped around his chest, his face blank of expression.

"Gale, I" I start, but he cuts me off.

"Don't. You were right. We should have run away. I should have listened." He says, unfolding his arms.

He completely takes me aback. I once again thought he was going to lash out on me, spit hateful things at me. But with Gale, I learned, I guess you can never really predict him.

"We can still do it. I will do whatever it takes to keep you guys safe. We can survive out there." He continues, taking a step towards me. I realize that he doesn't mean Peeta. And that makes everything feel completely wrong.

"Gale, we can't do that anymore. At least, without him. We can't run away with his child." I say, my voice shrinking

He closes his eyes, as if contemplating my words.

"Katniss, Please-"  
"No. I'm sorry, Gale. What if you we're him?" I say, standing up quietly and leaving him with that.

* * *

Im sorry i haven't been updating as recently but i had to get this quick chapter out there, especially since the next chapter is going to be the reaping :O! Once again thank you so much for the reviews, they really inspire me to keep working on this.

-Blossomingdog


	7. Chapter 7

Reaping day comes in the blink of an eye.

I never saw Gale after that day in the woods. I had decided that I didn't want my last days to be spent in the place I loved with the man I 'loved' yelling obscenities at me.

Instead I spent my time training with Peeta and Haymitch. Peeta made it clear that I was not to push myself to hard, which, me being me, I did not obey. I threw knives, practiced shooting with my bow, and ran as far as I possibly could.

Each day left me sore all over and a hunger for sleep. I found myself massaging my stomach, easing the ache. At three months, the faintest of curves was appearing and I knew that Peeta and I's baby could have been a big one.

I slowly stretch my sore limbs. I wince as i hear urgent banging on the door. It immediately sets me at unease, my stomach sinking.

Today was my last day to be in my home. My last day to see the place where i grew up, the last day to revisit the memories of my past life here. It's weird, you know. You'd think i would feel sad, angry, whatever. But i only felt numb. I could not feel the daggers in my heart, the water drowning it.

I realize that my sister and my mother are already awake when i hear the door open and my mother's voice greeting someone. I climb out of bed and dress out of my nightgown into a simple black jumpsuit. I brush my hair out and put it back into its braid, the raven locks intertwined together.

I realize my hands are shaking as i open the door to my bedroom at the end of the hall. The cold brass wakes me up, pushing me to go further down the hall. I had already planned out my goodbyes to my mother and Prim. I would tell them to be good, how they can make money, and a private meeting with my mother to remind her that she cant disappear.

My black combat books drag across the small rug until i can just peer over the staircase. I see my sisters braid, accompanied by the four snow-white helmets of peacekeepers standing in our kitchen.

I gasp and back away, my hands covering my mouth. I could only suspect the worst. What were they here to do? Kill me before i could get reaped? Make a deal with me that will, no matter what, always haunt me and my family? Tell me how to kill myself in the games while making it seem accidental?  
Did they find out about the baby?

I start to sink to the ground, but Prim rushes upstairs and helps me up. By now i'm shaking than a single leaf on a windy day. Our arms wrap around eachother. My chin molds into her shoulder, burying my nose in her sweet-smelling hair.

"Katniss," She whispers, her voice way too old and serious for this sweet 12-year-old girl, "They're here to escort you. They don't know anything about the baby."

I take a huge breath of relief, a wave of stress leaving my system. Even though it's not the best news, i'll take it over anything else.

I decide to tell Prim my goodbye's now, to make sure i get everything through for the first time without have a time limit hanging over our final words. I bend down next to her to be eye level with er.

"Alright, Prim-" I start, pulling back to stare into her blue eyes, which instantly lock on mine.

"Mrs. Everdeen." A deep voice comes from down the staircase. It sends a cold shiver down my spine. Both of my sister and I's eyes shift down the stairs to where our mother and the peacekeepers faces watch us.

I slowly straighten back up, staring down at them. I don't say anything, my cool grey eyes sweeping the scene. The four masks look so out of place here, right next to my mother's solemn but frightened face.

"Mrs. Everdeen, we are here to escort you to the reaping. Now." The peacekeeper barks again. I turn back to Prim, reaching my arm out and giving her hand a reassuring squeeze. I give her a faint smile which she returns. I didn't want all of this to stress out sweet, young, Primrose. Who's hands saved lives and heart to gentle to hurt anything.

I slowly step down the staircase, the boards creaking under my feet. The second my foot touched the last step the peacekeepers create a barrier around me, separating my family and I.

I hope none of them see the small rub I give my stomach.

"I'll talk to you guys later, okay?" I tell my family before i'm escorted to the door. One of the peacekeepers opens it and nudges me with their gun. I quickly glare at them, daring them to try and do it again. It's funny, how much i've changed since a year ago. I would have just hurried forward, the thought of being rude to a peacekeepers face

My feet make their way down the wooden steps of the porch. The sun is out and the birds sing their sweet tune to the heavens. The flowers are in bloom of all shades and hues of colors. It would be the perfect someone day, at least for someone else it would be. But i picture this moment in my mind, wanting to savoring the sweet and last image of my home forever.

I look to my left and my heart skips a beat when I see Peeta and Haymitch in the same position: flanked on each side by peacekeepers. I walk further down the past of my house, the people in the white uniforms shuffling along with me.

All three groups make their way down the Victors Village, towards the exit. My mother and Prim are in the back of us, slowly following us.

The birds happy chirping becomes irritating. How could anything be so normal on a day like this?

We make our way through district twelve. I keep my head down with the occasional look up. When we get around to the neighborhood i know by heart, i crane my neck to look at my actual home for the first time.  
The windows are still yellow and cracked, and the wood is starting to peel on the sides of it. Tattered curtains still sadly hang on the windows from the inside. The roof is weathering down and there's a small hole above the fireplace.

But even in its broken-down state, its still the most comforting place i could imagine right now.

I give a silent goodbye in my head and only realize how slow i've been moving when a peacekeeper grunts and once again nudges me. I ball my fists, trying to contain ever nerve that wants to brutally punch them in the face.

The square comes into view. People of all ages are lined side by side, filling up the whole block. The whole of district 12 is solemn. Small girls hold each others hands. Boys give each other pats on the backs. My mother and Prim are escorted by one peacekeeper to the front row where Gale is standing.

A lump appears in my throat as the two other victors drag their feet along the sandy tile, making their way up to the stage. Not one person in the crowd moves a muscle.

Effie Trinket stands in the middle of the stage, two glass balls on either side of her. One of them contains my death note, and the other one contains some of the only people i knows.

She's wearing a bright-orange butterfly outfit. Her golden hair is curled, forming a large bee-hive shape on her head. Her face is caked white and her lips and eye lashes match the butterfly accessory atop her head.

I take one step onto the wooden step and i instantly start to shake. The peacekeepers have disappeared and i'm on my own now. Memories come back to me, stirring my brain into a potion of terror.

 _Breath, Katniss_. I tell myself.

I take a deep breath and slowly climb onto the stage. I can feel thousands of eyes on me and look to my right to see Haymitch and Peeta are standing side-by-side on the stage. I stand alone, defenseless, and afraid as i take place in the exact same spot i did a year ago.

"Welcome, Welcome." Effie's voice cracks. She's lacking her usual peppiness, and i can see her hands are slightly shaking by her side. Oh, Effie.

"Ladies first, as usual..." Her voice trails off as she throws a sad glare towards me and i can see the tears glistening in her eyes. The escort shows no reason to hold her tears back as she walks over to the glass ball by my side, her heels clicking under her.

Her frail hand leans in and swirls around for a moment before picking up the only piece of paper in there. I already know it contains the name Katniss Everdeen, written in the neat handwriting of a capitol employee.

She pinches the small envelope between her inch-long fingernails as she slowly walks back to the podium. She unwraps it, the crinkling of the paper mocking me.

She takes a deep breath and reads out the name, her voice high-pitched with emotion.

"Katniss Everdeen."

A single tears slips down my cheek as i take a step towards her. This was it. No going back now. For the second time in my life, I am officially a tribute.

Effie, not one to waste time (even now), walks over to the boys bowl.

She picks out one of the two names and walks back over to her podium.

She barely has Haymitch's name out of her mouth before Peeta voulenteers.

And that's that.

The small light of hope in the darkness burns out.

There's no hope for Peeta and I to both be alive in the next few weeks. No hope at all.

I stare down at my hands, using all my strength to not let any more emotion to show.

I hear Haymitch grunt a few words and Peeta's soft whisper, "You can't make me."

Peeta walks up next to me. I can feel his eyes on me. I life my head up to stare at the crowd. The whole district is so silent i could hear the mockingjay's sing.

"And there we have it, our tributes from District 12." Effie says, her voice quiet but loud enough for all to hear.

Almost instantly, my family makes the first move. My mother and Prim's arms shoot up, their fingers in District 12's 3 finger salute. It means respect, it means goodbye to someone you love. _Goodbye_.

Gale instantly follows. And magically, slowly but surely, all of District 12 has their arms up, saluting us. It looks like a wave has swept through the crowd, all arms belonging to all colors raising into the air.

Peeta's fingers raise into the air as i press mine to my cold lips, raising my hand into the air to say my final goodbye. But just as my fingertips touch the sky, three peacekeepers each grab Peeta and I.

"Wait!" I gasp as they drag me into the mayors building, "I have to say goodbye! I have to say goodbye!"

Peeta's already disappeared as Romulus Thread harshly whispers in my ear, "New procedure. Straight to the train."

Im gasping for the air i've seemed to lost as my eyes catch my family. The doors begin to close as i see them for the last time.

"Goodbye!" I yell, loud enough for them to hear. The last thing i see are Prim's fragile fingers before the cement doors close in front of me.

* * *

 **Alright, pretty big chapter right here. And please no complaints if there's any grammar/spelling mistakes, it's super late and I wanted to get this out here ASAP 3 Have a fun weekend everyone!**

 **-Blossomingdog**


	8. Chapter 8

My whole body goes limp as im dragged through the building by peacekeepers. My throat is sore from yelling for my family.

But as quick as that, i am thrown into a fancy, white, Capital car. I've only been in a car one other time, and for the same reason: being sent to death. I instantly absorb into the plush leather seats, but it doesn't relax me.

The only thing that separates Peeta and I is a very shocked Effie. Her bright, golden wig is tilted to the side of her head and behind her white-caked face is a very scared expression.

I stare out the window, watching the world go by as i see District 12 for the last time. I say silent goodbyes to the woods, the place that has kept me at peace and alive for years.

I do the same thing on the train. I don't talk and no one does to me after Effie's failed attempts. Even Peeta, who can magically string together words to convince a nation, can't find anything to say to me.

I stay up late into the night at a coffee table in the main room. I hold a pen in my hand, leaning over a piece of paper as i try to think of the things i want to tell my family when i'm dead.

But nothing comes up. My mind stays blank as i crumple up the paper in frustration and slam it on the ground. I tuck my chin between my knees, my stomach pressing against my thighs as i ball myself up on the couch.

My arms wrap around my stomach as i delve back into my thoughts.

I never wanted any of this. I just wanted to help protect my family. And Gale. And then Peeta. And now our unborn child. I just had to be selfish enough to put everyone's lives in danger just to make a God damn point. I let anger and heartache blind me when i opened my hand to Peeta and revealed the berries. I should have eaten them and died.

I feel a gentle hand on my back. I jump at the sudden notion, but crane my neck around to see his rosy lips in a sad, soft smile. Peeta's hair is tosseled with sleep and the dark circles under his eyes mark that he hasn't escaped his nightmares tonight.

I sigh, turning my head back around so i don't have to face him anymore. "What are you doing awake?" He asks.

I pause for a moment before answering, "Stuff for my family. Now what are you doing up?" I fire back. He walks around the couch so i could see his face.

"I think you know." He says quietly, "Now, come on. We have our interviews tomorrow." I look up at him through half-lidded eyes. He reaches out a hand and i slip mine into it. A smile crosses his face at the acceptance at his sweet gesture. He helps me raise up off the cushions, stretching my sore limbs as he leads me to my bedroom.

He opens the door and i step in. He surprises me when he follows me in, and i can't help the small smile that spreads across my face. I walk over to the bed and climb into it, pulling the sheets over me. He sits down on the edge of my bed just like he did the day i found out about the pregnancy. I bring the blanket up over my chin, my eyes wandering around him. He reaches over and softly strokes my cheek; a simple but amazing gesture that makes my heart swell.

He does this until i feel my eyes begin to slowly droop. He reaches over his face and captures my lips in his, giving me a gentle kiss. I kiss him back, but i cannot help but feel the twinge of sadness when he stands up to leave. He starts to walk away before i can utter the words.

"Stay with me, Peeta. Please stay with me." Its a quiet but definite whisper. He turns back around with hesitation, climbing into the bed with me. I breathe a sigh of relief and curl up against him, pressing my ear to his chest so i can hear the steady thump of his glorious heart.

The beat slowly drags me down into the depths of sleep, but i can barely make out what Peeta says to me,

"I love you..." And i fall into darkness.

* * *

 **OKOK im so sorry for not posting any new chapters lately! This is my shortest one yet but i just wanted to get it out there. Not the biggest chapter, but some everlark fluffiness yis. I hope everyone had a happy holidays and a happy new year (even though its like, still the new year but whatever) and i hope you enjoyed!**

 **Until next time,**

 **-Blossomingdog**


	9. Chapter 9

**DISCLAIMER: I have skipped the whole training session chapter along with the tribute** **parade**. **I just thought that it would be quite stupid to write about because my intentions would be just the same as the book, and if you want to read about it, just pick up Catching Fire :).**

* * *

Cinna ties the ribbon on the back of my wedding dress together. I had already nervously told him the that i was pregnant. He would have figured it out when the dress didnt fit over the soft curve of my stomach. It seemed to grow more every single day.

I stand awkwardly on a short podium in Cinna's luxurious dressing room. The dress, for some reason, seems thousands of pounds heavier, and it's stressing out my stomach that it thankfully hides. I rub my clammy palms together and keep my head down. In 30 minutes I will be going live in front of the whole population of Panem. In my head i try to figure out what to say.

 _Don't do anything stupid that you'll regret, Katniss._ I think.

I feel one last, tight tug on my back and Cinna walks over to face me. He gently places his hands on my shoulders and I raise my head to look straight into his gold-flecked eyes. His face softens when I look at him and gives a sad smile.

"Come on," he says, "Show time."

I nod and follow him out of his dressing room into the crowded halls of the stadium. Victors wearing extravagent outfits swarm the all. Cinna and I find our way through the sea of glitter towards the line of of those ready to get on stage. Right now Finnick Odair of district 4 is on, reciting a poem to his 'lover'. It makes me want to vomit, and, being 5 months pregnant, I probably will.

"Ugh, a wedding dress?" Comes a sharp voice from behind me. I turn around to see Johanna Mason, or i think that's her name. She's the one from district 7 who could chop your body up with a quick slice from her axe. Or at least that's what I watched her do when she won her games a couple of years ago.

"Snow made me wear it." I say defensively. Instead of the look of pity i was expecting, she lets out a deep breath and her face contorts into a smirk.

"Make him pay." She hisses, before walking off towards the stage, leaving me confused and alone with Cinna. He places a single hand on my shoulder and I turn around to face him.

"Just act like you're talking to me when you get out there. Ill be in the audience, just find me and talk to me." He says. I give him a nod and a small smile.

The interviews go by quicker than I would expect. Johanna gets fired up and shouts her array of colorful language at the people of the Capital and Caesar Flickerman had to cut her interview short.

My hands are dripping and before I know it, Chaff is done with his interview and it's my turn to be broadcasted in front of the whole nation. Caesar is standing, his hair a new color of a powdery blue.

"And welcome back to the stage, we all know her as the Girl on Fire, Miss Katniss Everdeen!" He announces, drawing out my last name. I put on my fake-est, brightest smile and stumble onto the stage, waving gracefully to the crowd. They roar what I think is my name, but it's so loud I can barely make it out.

Someone I make my way to Caesar and we shake hands before sitting down on the plush chairs. The glitter from the capitolites and the lights from backstage almost blind me, and I try my best not to shield my eyes when I search for Cinna. I finally spot him sitting not far away from Haymitch. Our eyes meet and he nods, reminding me to talk as if I was talking to him.

The crowd finally dies down with a few obnoxious stragglers left when Caesar turns to face me. He gives a broad, but sad smile.

"So, Katniss," He starts, grinning broadly at me, "Am i right in thinking that this would be your wedding dress?" He asks, and the crowd gives a soft murmur.

"Yes, Casear," I force myself to smile, "You are right. President Snow asked specifically for me to wear it. He thought you would all like to see it." I say. The audience roars. Caesar gives a quick flick of his hand.

"Oh, do show us!" He gushes. I stand up on my knobbly knees and walk in front of him, in the front center of the stage. My eyes find Cinnas and I feel myself instantly relax. He gives me a quick nod and I see something I can't make up flash in his eyes.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes and begin to spin. I hear shrill gasps from the crowd and I image that it's just Cinna's craftman ship coming to life. But then I smell it. Smoke. I open my eyes and look down. I am on fire. I truly and the girl on fire.

I keep spinning. Because I trust Cinna with all my heart, something I have never done. I slowly feel the weight of the dress rise off of me. Ash soars through the air and I can feel Caesear panicking behind me. The screams turn into roars as the smoke slowly stops filling my lungs. I stop, facing the crowd and the sound is deafening.

I raise my hands up into the air and glance at the screen on the wall on the side and all the breath is knocked out of me. The dress is no longer a breathless white, but shades of deep blue and grey.

Cinna has turned me into a mockingjay.

No.

I start to panic, but I try my best to hide it. But everyone is focusing on the dress rather than my emotions. I can hear Caesear behind me, his voice breathless.

"Y-you're a bird?!" He gasps.

"A mockingjay, I believe." I correct him, barely looking at him.

My eyes find Cinna in the crowd and I know he can read my horror.

"Well, let's hear it for Cinna! Cinna, where are you? Take a bow!" Cinna directs cheerfully. Cinna stands up in the crowd and raises his hand in thanks, taking a small bow and sitting back down.

The buzzer goes off, marking my three minutes are over. I am more thankful than ever as Casear greets me out and I walk off to join the other victors. I avoid rubbing my hands on the soft material of the dress to get rid of the profuse sweat that has appeared. The crowd takes a long time to quiet down but it starts back up again when Peeta strolls onto the stage.

He looks charming in a deep navy suit that matches the color of my mockingjay gown. He puts on a bright smile and gives quick waves to the crowd before finally taking a seat next to Caesear. They shake hands quickly and the crowd falls silent and the mood of the room suddenly shifts.

"Now, Peeta," Casear starts, his voice and face solemn, "I think we're all disappointed that we didn't see a certain wedding." A small smirk appears on his face and Peeta runs his fingers across his chin.

"Well, Caesear, to be honest, do you think that we could all keep a secret here?" Peeta says with a mischievous voice. Confusion floods my head and a murmur breaks through the silent audience.

"Yes, Peeta, I think we can. Please go on." Casear says and I can hear the confusion in his voice, too. Peeta smiles and the words that tumble out of his mouth next confuse the living shit out of me.

"We already had the wedding." All the breath looses me for the second time tonight. The crowd gasps alone with Casear and I feel the cameras on Peeta and I. I keep my head down, not looking. I don't know how to react. Because no one was expecting this.

"We wanted to make it official," he goes on, "We wanted our love to be eternal. There was no big blowout. We did not need a party to celebrate out love, just each other."

Nope, no one expected this. At all.

"And I would have no regrets... If it wasn't for..." His voice trails off and the crowd goes wild. Casear tries to hush them down by asking the question everyone is thinking.

"If it wasn't for what?" He gushes, tipping over the edge of his seat.

Peeta takes a deep breath and his eyes sweep over the room.

"If it wasn't for the baby."

My heart literally skips a beat and my stomach drops. I can see the cameras are trained on my face by the large screen. Behind Cinnas make-up its pale.

Angry screaming fills my ears and I take in my surroundings. Every one in the audience is standing on their feet, thrashing and directing obscenities at the cameras in hopes that someone will hear their words. Its finally come to the point where the people of the Capital are _angry_ at the Hunger Games. Even the most blood thirsty, power loving fans can't even deny how wrong it is to send a baby into the Hunger Games.

Baby.

Peeta and I's baby.

Peeta, who never wanted to be apart of the Capitals games has just made our child one.

Dread starts at the tip of my fingers and spreads throughout my whole body. How could this happen? Peeta, why? I try to trust Peeta and think that this was a smart idea with some intelligence in it but i come up with nothing. I see some of the other victors crane their necks to try to get a good look at me as if expecting to see a large bump that they hadn't noticed under the tight dress.

Caeser stands up next to Peeta and I see him break through the cracks in his career. He whispers something in his ears and Peeta walks over to us, the victors. He tries to catch my eye but I avoid him. I don't know how to act. But my next move proves that I do.

I reluctantly grab Peeta's hand and lift it up, repeating the same action with CHaffs' stump. Slowly but surely everyone's hands appear in the air. Some of them take coaxing, like Brutus and Enobaria. But other shoot their hands up like Wiress and Johanna.

We all show them that we are victors, standing together against the Capital. The roars get louder and the power goes out, leaving us in darkness and the rest of Panem in shock.

* * *

 **Okay, so, im not in the mood to edit this. So im sorry! xD. But im finally getting back into the swing of this story again and I can't wait till a little further into the story. Please please please review! They really keep me going and ALWAYS make me feel better! And if you want me to work on something, please do not be ashamed to leave a constructed critisism! Love you guys and see you next time!**

 **-Blossomingdog**


	10. Update - Story Continued!

**Hello everyone. First of all, i'm very sorry about now posting on this story in... months! Omg! But, exciting news, I have made a new story based off this one. Its called '13' and is set in the future of what this story was going to end up as. I hope you enjoy it and i'm so sorry once again for not finishing this one!**

 **xo,**

 **Christina/Blossomingdog**


End file.
